First Quarter: Reflect & Resolve


The path that we each decide to walk for the first three months of the year is always telling of where we are willing to go for the rest of the year.

Reflecting on how the last three months have gone, can be a process of lying to self or telling the truth. We tell ourselves lies when we choose to focus on what we did which is fleeting. The truth lies in who we chose to not become. The truth lies in the parts of ourselves that we hold onto, that stand in our way and keep us from walking the path laid out for us in this year. When we decide to tell the truth, we give ourselves permission to build and unravel entire worlds. We give ourselves permission to finally accept that living in this duality is the greatest manifestation of growth.

For me, this brings to mind a memorable assertion made by American Writer Joan Didion, that:

"we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind's door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends."

Living in a state of being prepared to do whatever it takes to evolve will often go against what you are currently doing. It will ask that you focus on being and not doing. For those who gloriously sit with their list of achievements at the end of each quarter and ask "What more can I do in the next quarter?", maybe you should consider how this is the wrong question. Maybe this is the right one and I would argue, this is probably the most critical question you could ask yourself:

Why did you choose to stand in the way of who you are to fully become?

There. I said it. It is not everyone or everything else that stands in your way, it is in fact you. There's nothing more that you can draw from the outside world that will leave you feeling fulfilled when all is said and done.

A mantra you could consider for pacing yourself as you attempt to sober yourself up to start the next three months is this: see everything, hear everything, do nothing. Doing nothing is something, but that's the truth we don't want to accept. I believe our stillness holds answers to the question we are are busy pacing up and down the world looking for. For many the state of being still, is understood as a weakness. But your weakness is your strength, only if you percieve it that way.

Alas, what makes the difference in one expanding the experience of their lives or repeating the same patterns, I believe lies in the stories we tell ourselves.

As you reflect and resolve how to go forward, I hope you will have the courage to tell yourself the truth.

With love and appreciation,